Haven’t done the Friday Blast Off: What I Said vs. What I Meant in awhile, mostly because the past few weeks it probably would have consisted of “What I Said – Nothing,” and “What I Meant – YOU DAMN JACKHOLE, GET IT TOGETHER!”  But something caught my eye this week that made me actually roll my eyes out loud, if that’s possible.  Going through Yahoo! news earlier in the week, I came across the headline, “Kanye West’s On-Stage rant: Rapper disses Taylor Swift, Jay-Z, Justin Timberlake in London.”   And even thought I knew – I KNEW – it was going to make me want to punch my computer, I clicked on it.

Hey guess what?  I was right.  Here’s three people/things he said really smart stuff about.  And by really smart stuff I mean – Oh, right, you are still a fucking idiot and please fall off my planet.

Taylor Swift

Poor little Taylor.  She’s come under some fire lately, most notably because that whole teen-angst thing that has made her famous has kind of played itself out.  If you wanted to date her before, you’re scared to now because you are for sure going to end up the chorus of a song detailing what a heartbreaking bastard you are.  (She was too young for you anyway, John Mayer, you dirty bird.) That being said, the girl is still selling millions of albums and selling out arenas all over the world and continues to win awards; she’s clearly doing something right.  Despite this, Kanye once again dissed her in comparison to Beyonce, seemingly apropos of nothing.  What, exactly, has this girl done to him that makes him so publicly criticize her?  I mean, if he was having a baby with Beyonce or married to her, I could at least get the reasoning behind it.  But he’s not.  In fact, he’s having a baby with the most talentless bag of hair I’ve ever seen.  (Oh yes, still so much hate for the Kardashians.)  And it’s not like Beyonce’s some big underdog that needs his championing.  In fact, if I had to guess, she would probably rather not be associated with this idiot at all.

Dissing Jay-Z and Justin Timberlake’s New Song

Which brings me to my next point.  I may not be in the music industry, and I while I do love me some rap I realize that knowing every single word to Eazy-E’s “Gimme Dat Nutt,” while impressive, does not make me extremely knowledgeable about the background of the genre.  (Totally true story.  I also do Eminem’s “Without Me,”  at karaoke.  Want to surprise a DJ?  Be a blond white girl in your thirties and put your name in on that song.)  Keeping that in mind, one thing I do know is that Jay-Z kind of helped make you, Mr. Art School.  And as of this writing, I have yet to find anyone that dislikes Justin Timberlake.  The man has somehow crossed that line where men want to be him and women want to – um – be with him.  I predict there will be many a song released in the next year with the same vibe as “Suit and Tie.”  These two are powerhouses, like them or not.  They could come out with a song with duck calls and cats meowing and I promise you people will be fighting each other to find the next underappreciated animal noise.  They’re just that good.

Mocking Artists Who Take Money for Endorsements.

Right, kind sir, you probably started that whole clothing line because you have a deep, abiding love for fashion and that’s your life dream.  And the other products you’ve endorsed, you’ve probably just really believed in their message, right?  Like Pepsi changed your life and you need to broadcast and help spread their words?  Please.  Do you think that previously mentioned bag of hair you impregnated with your demon spawn isn’t going to exploit the hell out of every single product that child touches/uses/wears?  During his tirade, he sings, “”Remind me again why we in this s***?  Since when was making art about getting rich?”  You dick.  You. Dick. You just dropped $11 MILLION on a house and are worth about $90 million.  Please, tell me more about how you are only doing this for your art and you don’t care about the money.

I’m not denying Kanye’s talent, as he surely has it.  He’s an excellent producer and songwriter – hey, he’s famous for a reason, at least, unlike his rotten pregnant girlfriend.  But his true colors have been bleeding through for awhile, and what they’re showing is an extreme air of entitlement and an inflated sense of self worth that’s bordering on narcissistic personality disorder and we all need to STOP CARING.

Because if we don’t, in 15 years we’re all going to obsessively listening to someone called Kimye and honestly?  I can’t live in that world.  I just can’t.

It’s probably how he practices his autograph. Douchetard.